Why Is Changing Ourselves So Difficult?
From The One True Framework for a Happy Life by Amale Kaiss Obeid — a free book written from a Christian perspective.
“How often do we sincerely decide to behave differently, only to find ourselves repeating the very behavior we intended to change?”
“We resolve to be patient but react with anger, determine to forgive but return to resentment, or decide to abandon a destructive habit only to repeat it.”
Why trying harder isn’t enough
“This helps explain why simply deciding to behave differently is not always enough.”
“We believe that if we criticize ourselves enough, exercise greater discipline, or summon sufficient willpower, we will finally become the people we want to be.”
“But this keeps our attention fixed on the very things we are trying to escape.”
- 1A thought or impulse
- 2An action
- 3An emotional consequence
A different foundation
“The difference is not that we have become exceptionally good at fighting our negative emotions or controlling our behavior. It is that we are living from a different foundation”
The book, written from a Christian perspective, describes that foundation as life in Christ, and uses the image of a prison door that is already open.
“The door is already open.”